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Basketball Widow’s Guidelines

This article is meant for the woman who finds herself alone every weeknight and weekend because she made the mistake of falling in love with a sports fanatic.  For those of you who loved your jock so much that you married him in spite of his obsession, there is an answer to your loneliness.  Yes, this list of guidelines.  It will make your man realize you are alive, even though his favorite team is on the Sports Channel.  He may even gain new respect for you and become very lovable and affectionate during the game or after.

Photo by cottonbro on

The answer does not lie in trying to change his attitude towards sports, for you know that won’t happen.  I imagine you’ve already tried that.  Switching the channel, parading around in your sexiest nightie, or scheduling a weekend trip to an isolated cabin with no TV or internet are a few valiant attempts to distract him.  But we all know that is just a temporary solution.

What I am suggesting is you give basketball a chance.  You can learn all about it and actually learn to love it.  And, in the process, you will become your husband’s best sports buddy.  You will no longer play hostess to three or four other sports jocks eating all your food, while you’re trying to enjoy the weekend. 

One of the first steps towards learning the game is to change your attitude towards basketball.  Over the years of basketball widowhood, you may have built up many inward hostilities towards the sport.  I realize it is difficult to accept he would rather watch his favorite team.  You have probably been hurt many times because he seems to prefer basketball over you.

He is not rejecting you.  He does not love basketball more than he loves you!  We should respect the fact he will always be a basketball nut and learn to live with it.  And remember the Bible verse, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1  Basketball only lasts for a season.

In this guideline, I will outline the basic methods of learning the sport in an understandable manner. 

Rule #1:  Don’t Assume You Know It All

You may be fortunate enough to have attended high school games as a teenager.  This has given you a good background for learning.  However, don’t assume you know it all.  The rules have probably changed.  I discovered I was years behind.  In my day, a basketball player would score 2 points after shooting a basket.  Now, under certain conditions, a 3-point basket can be achieved.  To my dismay, they changed this rule a long time ago.  On top of that, the rules differ from jr. high varsity to varsity games, which differ from college rules. 

Rule #2:  Begin the Learning Process by Reading the Sports Page

Your hubby may wonder why he is fighting over the sports page.  For the first time, he must share this section.  He may be puzzled by your sudden interest in sports.  Just explain you can’t wait to know what the score was for the game yesterday.  Then watch him gaze at you with big eyes and an open jaw.

Be sure to devote 10 minutes per day reading the sports.  Learn the lingo and discover who the coaches and players are.  This takes discipline, but it is necessary to keep up with the latest sports news.

If you would prefer, leave the TV on past the local news to the sports newscast, or turn to the radio.  Check it out on your phone or tablet.  Choose the media you are most comfortable with and one that fits into your schedule.  Make things easy for yourself.

Rule #3:  Sports Lingo Translations

Before you can truly understand what you’re reading, you need to learn to decipher sports lingo. For basketball, there are a million and one facsimiles for the word “Win”. In the first few days of reading the sports page, I came across these: Overpower, Routt, Drill, Upset, Knocked Off, Claimed Victory

Don’t ask me why there is this compelling urge to use every word but “win”. It certainly doesn’t make it easy to learn sports, and learn a foreign language, too.

Other slang basketball terms according to are dropping dimes, wiggle, putting ‘em on skates, making it rain, getting stuffed, a dagger, wedgie, block city, take it to the rack and granny shot.   Websites that are helpful include, with diagrams of winning plays and drills; has a section on sports & fitness; features the latest sports news and trending articles; and publishes the NBA Rulebook having 14 rule categories.  It makes for good reading before bed if you have trouble going to sleep.

Rule #4:  Watch Your Favorite Team Play

Try picking teams which are also your hubby’s favs, unless you prefer a little healthy competition, which can be fun.  Just keep in mind the reason behind learning basketball is to spend more time with your mate, rather than alienate him.  Watching one game per week would be a good start, increasing this to 2 per week after one month.  But be careful, or you could become a sports addict, too.

Rule #5:

If you are the one that does most of the cooking, you could cook for him and his cronies. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, wrote Fanny Fern. Whether or not this is true, it doesn’t hurt to be supportive. You may discover one of their wives also likes basketball and can be invited to join the group. It would be a way to make new friends.

The Bible has certain guidelines, too, with many verses that apply to husbands and wives. May God, who gives patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Romans 15:5 NLT

A model for wives is given in Proverbs 31:10-31.  We need to learn to respect and please your husband, so that he is happy with you.  He will be cheerful and happy with an agreeable wife at home. 

Respect your husband and fit in with his plans.  Husbands are given direction, too, as in Ephesians 5:33, “So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.

I hope this article has been helpful to you in respecting your husband’s hobbies and interests.  It is worth a try towards bringing you closer together as a couple.  God bless you.

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